Jumping on the bed turns into an existential dilemma

When Mike was in Portland with me, he couldn't hold back his urge to jump on my mum's bed. What is it about those things that are off-limits to us that make us desire them so strongly?

Kyle saw the photo, and decided to take immediate action.

However, his plan quickly backfired. Unfortunately, he is taking his unchecked wrath out on poor little me!

And sure enough, mom has decided to disown me. She sent me an e-mail stating a simple, yet hurtful, message:

My family relationships are declining swiftly. How could this situation possibly be rectified? What could ease my pain? As always, Mike has some great advice:

HELP -- I Can't Stop Eating!

I also can't figure out how to turn this picture around. Boy, do I have problems.